Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Worst Checkpoint EVER!

Once upon a couple months ago, I was making my way east to meet up with a friend of mine in order to venture out on a vacation.

Scott is a good friend and fraternity brother, and he had invited me to join him on a trip to Myrtle Beach. Living in Chesapeake Ohio, the closest major town to him is Huntington West Virgina. I arrived late in the evening on Friday and was greeted warmly by a friend that while we correspond several times a month, we had not seen one another in at least a year. He introduced me to his most recent lady friend who was going to join us for dinner that evening, and off we went to eat and catch up.

Dinner was so-so, but the food wasn't really the goal that night. We were catching up on the past year between my work and his graduate work. All the while, it had escaped our attention that his date had been casually knocking back Grey Goose martinis as though they were water. I know that's some smooth vodka, but she must have knocked back at least 3, rounding the corner on 4 before we realized how much she'd had, not to mention how much it was going to cost.

We settle the bill, and leave. But weighing in at a mere 115 pounds and having knocked back a good deal of reasonably strong vodka, Sarah was in no condition what so ever to drive. Not a big deal. Scott was in fine form, not having had anything to drink that night, or for that matter, any night prior. So she happily surrendered her keys, and we went on about our way.

About 10 minutes later with laughter and music blairing, not to mention Sarah truly enjoying the height of her alcoholic daze, we arrive at what looks like the scene of an accident. I have no idea how many police cars and corresponding officers were on sight, but I quit counting the cars at 13, moved on to the officers on site, and stopped counting them right around 25. No accident, no 1-8-7, nothing like that. In fact it was the largest, brightest sobriety checkpoint I had ever seen.

As Sarah was wasted, we were trying to get her under some kind of control. Not that it made a huge difference as she was not driving, but let's not give cops with nothing to do a reason to detain all of us. Now this cop was a gold ol' boy to such a degree that I could have sworn he was whistling the Dukes of Hazzard theme through his spitting of Skoal. He leans into the car a bit, has a look around, and says to Scott "Evenin'...we're doin' a sobriety checkpoint here. You had anything to drink tonight?"

Scott casually shakes his head and says "No sir."

"You sure 'bout that?"

"Yes sir I am."

"Alright then. Have a nice night." And that was the end of it.

It took about 2 mintues of dead silence before we all errupted in laughter to such a degree that none of us could explain why we were laughing. Finally I managed to explain myself through the laughter that was so intense I was now crying. That had to be without a doubt the worst sobriety stop I have ever seen or ever will see. There was no doubt in my mind that I could have slid right through that one after knocking back a case! And you mean to tell me that in a state where there is little else to do but drink and famous last words are "Hold my beer and watch this" that it takes an entire relief of police to sit out and take someone's word as to their sobriety? So who is watching the rest of the city, keeping it safe from crime? Way to hold it down fellas.


Anonymous Christy said...

I never heard this story. Funny stuff.

8:28 PM  

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