Thursday, November 01, 2007

Crappy Candy

Last night was Halloween. Little ghosts and gouls all dressed up walking through various neighborhoods asking total strangers for candy.

Actually, that's not all together accurate. When I was a kid, we were little ghosts and gouls. Kids today, and perhaps more accurately their parents, would rarely think of putting in some time and effort to dress their kids up in a homemade costume, put on some make-up, and send them out into the world. No. Instead parents go to Target.com and buy something. Or, in the case of the really lazy, throw on the seasonal sports outfit of your chosing and call yourself who ever is the pro athlete of the moment. The exclusion to this rule is the kid who can up last night in full football gear and a Carson Palmer jersey with a paper bag over his head tha read 2-5 in big letters. I like the creativity. Ultimately, I guess I better appreciate the institution of Halloween while I can because in this day and age of conspiracy theorists, it will be no time at all until kids aren't allowed to take candy from people for fear of SARS, Anthrax, or whatever.

But I digress...

This is a quick point of fact I have to make to all the people in the world who still give these things to trick-or-treaters; the little orange and black wrapped candies that no one can recognize and no one ever eats? You know what I'm talking about. They're not branded with anything, no one knows who made them, and no one knows what they taste like because of the story we all head once about the kid who ate one and was never seen nor heard from again... STOP HANDING THEM OUT! No one likes them, no one eats them, and I think the only reason anyone still knows what they are is because they were purchased in the early 70's and people still can't get rid of them damn things.

My mom would disagree however. She believes that everyone needs some level of crappy candy. It can't all be Jolly Ranchers and Snickers.

I disagree...

But beyond candy, we'll have to talk about gifts.

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