Wednesday, January 30, 2008

rocco's webisodes

the new thing i've come across in the past few days are webisodes. and yes, maybe i am in fact behind the times at 27, but i'm seeing more and more celebrities who have something to offer besides crotch shots and tabloids about their babies posting webisodes.

rocco dispirito is one such celebrity.

the first time i had ever heard of rocco dispirito was while watching top chef with my wife about 6 months ago. he was a guest judge, and very impressive in his overall presentation. i've seen a lot of people do guest spots on that show, and a lot of them are jerks. either that or they totally submit to what the other judges have to say about who should move on. he did not.

rocco is a professional chef, author, talk show host, triathelete, and webisoder. he has little 3 minute clips on bertolli's website that show all kinds of little additions to make a meal better. or perhaps to try something you've never seen or heard of before. but while scanning through his webisodes, here's what i picked up inside of about 5 minutes.

he has a great book called "rocco's five minute flavor". there are a ton of recipes in there all created with the same criteria. they are all five ingredients or less, take five minutes to prepare or less, and cost five dollars per serving or less. it's a great book and definately worth having a copy of.

here is my brief presentation of "chop's 5 minute insight". the premise here is to learn five things about cooking in five minutes or less.

1. just like there are 3 primary colors, there are 4 primary flavors that make up everything we taste; sour, salt, sweet, and bitter.
2. when you are cooking, to brown something is to make it sweeter while to char something (i.e. charbroil) is to make it bitter.
3. extra virgin cold-pressed olive oil is better suited for seasonings
4. standard olive oil is better suited for cooking.
5. pinot griggio is the best catch all wine for itallian food complementing.

Friday, January 25, 2008

Are You Kidding Me?

Maybe some of you out there in the world have seen or heard of the situation surrounding Tiger Woods and Golf Channel anchorwoman Kelly Tilghman. If you didn't, here is the Reader's Digest version. In an effort to applaud Tiger's skill, she suggested on record that the only way for up and coming players on the tour to beat him was to "lynch him in a back alley".

Oops.

Golf Channel suspended her for 2 weeks. Once returned to the air, she apologized with professionalism and sincerity. Tiger, being nothing short of a consumate professional, accepted her apology, and made it clear that he realized there was no ill-will or malice intended by her statement. That could have gone a lot differently for everyone. Tiger could've raised hell. He could've screamed about his lot in life. He could've drawn attention again and again to the facts that he represents two minorities and that his legacy will be tarnished forever by this insensitive publication, and on and on and on. The most popular and dominant golfer in the world could've called for her head on a pike.

He did none of these things. He recognized the error in her judgement, and the inappropriate use of the phrase "lynch". Anyone who suggests that this term doesn't hold a poigniant meaning, particularly for an African American has clearly never seen a history book. But recognizing the mistake, Tiger accepted her apology in turn, and decided to speak no more of it. Well done, sir.

Jim Brown, however, did not accept her apology. This in and of itself is a funny statement to me. Jim Brown is not an athlete currently participating in a professional sport. Jim Brown is not a professional golfer. Jim Brown is clearly not Tiger Woods. So far, I cannot see rhyme or reason why Tilghman should apologize to Jim Brown? But he disagrees. It would seem that the air of blackness that he feels is necessary for all minority athletes to carry around was not sufficiently upheld by Tiger on this day. Brown seems to think that Tiger responded in a politically correct time and place. The shame! Seems to me that he would like Tiger to walk around pissed off with a massive chip on his shoulder about how much life sucks in his (Tiger's) black athlete world. Lest we forget, Tiger set many records last year, but amoung them was the most money earned by any athelte in a calander year...ever. That number, in case you were wondering, just topped $100,000,000. Yeah I'm sure his life sucks.

Tiger is well embraced by the bulk of the world. It doesn't matter if you golf or not. you probably know who he is. He is a professional. He is a celebrity. He is what the kind of person that the sporting world needs. He embraced the situation with grace and integrity, and until Tilghman says something to Jim Brown for which he should take offense...just shut up.

Thursday, January 24, 2008

5 Coolest Job Titles

In my recent endevor to find myself a new job, I have run across a great many people claiming to be a great many things. There have been job titles that I have laughed at, scoffed at, made fun of, been curious about, or in some cases, flat out wanted.

So here is what I have come up with; these are going to be the top job titles that I have seen. The jobs themselves may be bullshit, but the titles they carry are somewhat redeeming. But as in any countdown, here are the rules...

1. You have to be able to put it on a business card that you could hand to anyone. For example, you probably wouldn't hand a card that reads "Professional Call Girl" or "Male Escort" to your grandmother or your children. And that leads nicely into the second criteria...
2. You have to be able to sign it at the bottom of your W-2 or 1099. When you pay taxes, you are always asked your profession at the bottom with your signature. Job titles such as "Call Girl", "Escort", "Marajuana Cultivator/Entrepenuer" (yes that means drug dealer no matter how you slice it) isn't going to work.
3. You have to get paid to do it. Sounds simple enough, but this is pretty much in there to rule out the people who want to call themselves CEO's when in fact, they are a cog in the wheel that is AMWAY.
4. It has to sound cool, period. Anything sounds cool when you introduce yourself and "Bond. James Bond." For example, "Nice to meet you. My name is Bond. James Bond. I am a professional balloon sculptor." But the true test it can you say it with a name like Lloyd Christmas (a.k.a. Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber)?

So here, in no paritcular order, are the top five coolest job titles I have come across.

5. Actuary: Yes I know this is a cool word for an accountant. But it's still a cool word. If you were smooth about your introduction you could press up on someone, shake their hand, and say "Hello sir...Lloyd Christmas, actuary." Sounds good to me.
4. Angler: For those who don't know, this is a sport fisherman. To be a bit more specific, a fisherman who catches fish with a hook as opposed to a net. "Lloyd Christmas, angler."
3. Neurosurgeon: Who doesn't sound like a stud introducing themselves as a Neurosurgeon?
2. Brigadier General: Just say this one out loud one time. The truth of it is, a full Colonel is in charge of a batallion, while the next step up to Brigadier General puts you in charge of not a whole lot. But it sure sounds cool. Honorable mention to Rear Admiral too.
1. Imagineer: This is a term totally drummed up by Disney as a corporation for the people who sit around and think up all the wild and crazy stuff in their theme parks, product lines, and pretty much anything else that keeps that multi-gazillion dollar empire running. All those days playing Dungeons and Dragons seems to be paying off doesn't it. "Hi, Lloyd Chirstmas...Imagineer."

Monday, January 21, 2008

What I've Learned Today

Today is January 21st, 2008. Interestingly enough, I have probably picked up more little pieces of information today than any other day yet this year. Some of these things I guess I already knew, but I'm going to put them in there just to give a better context of my education.

1. January in Mason, Ohio can be cold.
2. Car batteries never EVER go dead when it's 72 degrees with the sun out.
3. Car batteries never EVER go dead when there are a bunch of people hanging out around you near by...
4. ...neither do cell phones.
5. January in Mason, Ohio can be cold.
6. Car batteries are never located in plain, easy to get to, out in the open places in your car. There is always some brace, swing arm, really stiff hose, or other anomoly waiting to make the replacement of the battery just a little more interesting.
7. Cold weather makes for cold wrenches.
8. Cold wrenches make for cold hands.
9. Fine motor skills go to hell when your hands are cold.
10. January in Mason, Ohio can be cold.
11. A 10 mm crescent wrench is the ONLY tool you need to swap a dead battery out of a 2003 Mitsubishi Eclipse.
12. A 10 mm ratchet works a whole lot better.
13. A battery that is not quite as long and the cradle on which it sits will still fit in an operate the vehicle just fine, so long as it will fit width-wise.
14. Battery terminal grease as well as small felt rings around the battery terminal will prohibit corrosion of the leads, extending the battery's life.
15. This morning confirms that I did not miss my calling as a football handicapper, nor a Monday morning Quarterback.