Wednesday, August 27, 2008

Dancing With the Stars Season 6

It doesn’t seem like all that long ago that the most boring overall season of Dancing With the Stars came to a rather boring conclusion that was foregone since the very first week, yet here we are with this season’s cast being unveiled this week. And while my overall boredom with last year’s episodes compelled me to say things like “this show is loosing it’s edge” or “these contestants couldn’t touch years past” and even “I’m just about done with this show” the release of the cast for this season has rejuvenated me and I am, again, pressing the envelope on being giddy. Speaking of which, let’s have a look at the cast shall we?

Lance Bass: the former boy band-er will be following in the footsteps of fellow bandmate Joey Fatone and seeing what he can do. You would think that all the dance training and choreography from the days of NSYNC would translate into a strong showing, but it didn’t help Joey. And let’s not forget the X-Factor; his profession partner, Lacey Schwimmer, is a new addition to the DWTS ensemble.

Toni Braxton: She’s got the pipes, no doubt about that. But this isn’t Singing With the Stars. In any event, she has some elegance about her, which will probably translate well in the ballroom rounds, but may hold her up in the Latin rounds.

Brooke Burke: She’s been on a lot of shows hosting this and that. She’s a pretty woman with a nice body, which helps the cause. If you recall Marissa from last season, no matter how well she did, the fact that she was heavy really kept her from looking perfect even she might have been. She’s dancing with Derek Hough, who’s a lot of fun to watch and had a very strong showing last year, despite a neck injury, with Shannon Elizabeth.

Maurice Greene: Once dubbed “The Fastest Man on Earth”, Mo is trying on a different pair of shoes. He’s dancing with Cheryl Burke who has had great success in the past getting her partners deep into the competition, getting Christian De La Fuente to the finals last year, and winning with Emmitt Smith and Drew Lachey. But she has a tendency not to water down her own movements when her partners are at a more novice levels and makes them look bad.

Kim Kardashian: Has anyone done less to become famous at anytime? Ever? Seriously, she’s done less than Paris and Nikki and that’s saying something. She’s paired with Mark Ballas, last year’s professional winner. So he knows how to get it done with the right tools. Unfortunately, I don’t think daddy can buy her the right tools for this job.

Cloris Leachman: With more experience in front of audiences and on TV than anyone else in the ensemble, I think she’ll hang in for a while if nothing else on the sentimental vote (see also Perscilla Presley, Marie Osmond). Just try not to pass out on live TV.

Cody Linley: Dude, cut your freeking hair already. He looks so damn feminine I want him to either dance with a guy, or loose in the first 2 weeks. He’s working with Julianne Hough, who’s won this thing twice before with Heilo Castroneves and Apolo Anto Ohno. But with a record released this year, she probably has better things to do then fend off the ooglings of a teenager.

Susan Lucci: She has set the standard for staying power in the daytime acting community. She’s paired up with Tony Dovolani who has managed to make the most out of his prior seasons. Of course if Susan’s past is any indicator what-so-ever, she’ll make it to the finals and finish second.

Misty May-Treanor: If you’ve ready any of my other posts, you can surmise that I’m a volleyball enthusiast. I’ve also see Misty play live, and she has a habit of shaking her bon-bon with the rest of the younger and thinner model-esque girls at AVP events. She’s paired with Maksim Chmerkovskiy who was on hiatus last season. I think she’ll screw around too much, and he’ll get irritated with her as he’s done with past partners. Besides, female athletes don’t have a good track record in this contest (see also Monica Seles).

Ted McGinley: This guy’s been bumming around Hollywood for YEARS, and while you may not know the name, you’ll know the face. If he can keep from sexually harassing the dancers and competitors, he might do some damage.

Jeff Ross: Like female athletes, male comedians don’t tend to hang around too long. (see also Penn Jillette, Adam Carolla). He’s dancing with Edyta, who can’t seem to keep her clothes on while on stage, and who also has a short temper for people screwing around. Must be a Russian thing. He probably won’t be around too long.

Warren Sapp: Don’t think an offensive lineman can move? Then you never watched Sapp play ball. In spite of his size and appearance, the man can flow. However, he’s paired with Kym Johnson, who is roughly the size of this left leg. Penn had a rough time working with her last season just because he’s so tall and she’s so short. And the aforementioned career as an offensive lineman doesn’t often suggest that someone’s small.

Rocco DiSpirito: James Beard award winning chef, author, host, and one of my personal heroes. A bit of an exaggeration perhaps, but seeing Rocco on TV definitely compelled me to spend more time in the kitchen. He seems like he knows enough to know that he doesn’t know everything, which is a good attitude to have in this contest (see also Cameron Matheson). He’s taller and in better shape then a lot of the other men in the show, which will help his lines look better naturally. And he’s paired with Karina Smirnoff who has had strong showings in the past. Unless he falls down, literally, or uses an ethnic slur on live TV, he’s getting my votes.
The first episode airs Monday, September 22 at 8 on ABC.


Blogger Katrina Clement said...

I LOVE your commentary!

6:13 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This was great. I loved your observations. And some of them were quite funny.


3:47 PM  

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