Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Everything I Really Need to Know, I Learned From Men's Health

When I’m killing some additional time at work, like a lot of people, I do some web surfing. I have my favorite sites for different reasons, and no, none of them are illicit or profane. But what has quickly become one of my favorites is Men’s Health magazine’s site. They have a section to search called “Guy Wisdom”. Women reading this blog are making jokes that you click on the link and “server error” pops up, I’m sure. But there’s some really interesting stuff in there. And I think the reason that I have enjoyed it so much is that the information is all supplied in chronological lists depending on their importance. They address a ton of topics in there, and I’ve read so many of them that they are running together. But here are some of my favorites from various published lists.

From: 17 Things Every Man Should Try

Leave work early for a midweek afternoon ball game. Tell no one. Go alone. Strive to notice the subtleties TV doesn't show: the third baseman cheating a step before the pitch; where the center fielder sets up; whether that sweet creature two rows over really likes baseball or is just there for her boyfriend. Toss the ticket stub on the way out; you were never there. We guarantee you'll remember this game longer than if you got permission from the wife and went with five buddies.

Be debt-free. Compounding interest is like a sorority girl on Ecstasy. She'll go both ways, but you get a hell of a lot more out of it when she's going your way.

Read a novel with more than 300 pages, written before 1950, set somewhere other than the United States.

You think you're tough? Say exactly what's on your mind when you're at your most vulnerable. We'll see how tough you are.

And my personal favorite and the one I probably struggle with the most…

Go a week without quoting anyone. When you consider movies, late-night monologues, sportscasters, bosses, wives, kids, founding fathers, regular fathers, Shakespeare, philosophers, and Homer Simpson, this suddenly becomes a lot harder than you thought, huh?

From: 15 Resolutions That Make You a Better Man

Have you noticed? It's a presidential election year, again. This time around, let's all remember that there's far more that unites us than divides us. So keep the conversation civil, your vote in perspective, and your humility in place.

Congratulations on finally going hands-free while driving. Now try going phone-free when backing out of the parking space, and iPod-free while changing lanes, smart guy.

There's nothing that happens after 11:30 p.m. that can't be replied to or TiVo'd the next day. Hit the pillow for some restorative sleep, then hit the ground running tomorrow, while others are still trying to find their legs (and their Starbucks gift cards).

From: 19 Things You Should Never Do

Keep a home-run ball hit by the opposing team. Or one hit by any player on the juice. We don't care if it's worth millions. Throw it back or you're a traitor.

Talk salary. The more you make, the easier it is to cheapen your image.

From: 25 Things Worth Waiting For (This whole list is outstanding)

The day your strength catches up with your ego. Needing a spot on the first rep doesn't impress anyone.

Your second reaction, after the first thermonuclear flash of anger.

The new business cards with your new title.

The rare sequel, season finale, or Super Bowl that actually lives up to its hype.

From: 40 Unwritten Rules to Live By

Never ask a woman if she wants to have sex by asking her if she wants to have sex.

Yes, speak softly and carry a big stick. But don't mumble. And don't swing the stick.

Do not get a visible tattoo larger than your penis.

Never buy anyone a gift at a kiosk.

Never make any sort of generalization concerning gender, even if it's so true God himself would back you up.

Never suggest to another person at the gym that he's not working hard enough to accomplish anything.

From: 18 Things Worth Fighting For

Your favorite band/movie/team/political party/religion—which, you've just been told, sucks. It may indeed suck. So what? Someone just ground your passions under his heel. Let him have some.

Your right to leave the bar as early and as soberly as you want. You will be called many names. You are none of these things.

A free phone. They get a check every month for 2 years? Yeah, free phone.

The remote. A guy we know broke his leg fighting for the remote. And he'd do it again.

They have so many published lists of great ideas. And yes, it all seems simple with some interjected humor. But a lot of them make a lot of sense on some level or another. And even if the goal was just to get a grin, chances are it worked. So they must be doing something right.


Blogger Abby said...

Love these!! Apparently I've been reading the wrong magazine.

4:12 PM  

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